Where are the rodents when you need them?

We've had our plum tree for about fifteen years, but only once before have we faced the obligation of actual plums. Either birds eat the blossoms or squirrels eat the plums, or both.

This year they've fallen down on the job, leaving us with the task of turning a ridiculous quantity of Italian plums into jam, or giving them away to anyone who'll take them, or both. Even with thirty pounds of jam in the closet and neighbors who are all plummed out, we're left with about 100 pounds of fruit up there. Come on, squirrels. Do your thing. We want our lives back!